Rules for aging….

Rules for aging given to me by my Mother some time ago,, this is first installment, by Roger Rosenblatt , and is starting to make more and more sense !!

IT DOESN’T MATTER Whatever you think matters–doesn’t. Follow this rule, and it will add decades to your life. It does not matter if you are late, or early; if you are here, or if you are there; if you said it, or did not say it; if you were clever, or if you were stupid; if you are having a bad hair day, or a no hair day; if your boss looks at you cockeyed; if your girlfriend or boyfriend looks at you cockeyed; if you are cockeyed; if you don’t get that promotion, or prize, or house, or if you do. It doesn’t matter. (Rule 1)

NOBODY IS THINKING ABOUT YOU Yes, I know, you are certain that your friends are becoming your enemies; that your grocer, garbage man, clergyman, sister-in-law, and your dog are all of the opinion that you have put on weight, that you have lost your touch, that you have lost your mind; furthermore, you are convinced that everyone spends two-thirds of every day commenting on your disintegration, denigrating your work, plotting your assassination. I promise you: Nobody is thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves–just like you. this is rule #2

LISTEN FOR THE WORD “GREAT” It is my experience that whenever anyone says the word “Great!” in response to an idea that you have, or some work you have accomplished, or to a proposal you have made, it is time to pack your bags. I don’t know how this happened, but somewhere in the annals of insincerity, someone hit on this ingenious word, which is used to mislead others, to keep them at bay, or to lay no meaning whatever. The cleverness of the response is that it says the exact opposite of what it means. The one who uses the word could not be less thrilled about you or your idea.

LISTEN FOR THE QUESTION “WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Should that question arise in response to an accusation, know for certain that the person who said it knows perfectly well what you are talking about. Respond accordingly.

BE NOT WITTY; NEITHER SHALT THOU BE CLEVER… There have been, as far as I can count, four witty people in history. They are: Oscar Wilde, Dorothy Parker, Winston Churchill, and Oscar Levant… A poet, who had been passed over for the Poet Laureateship of England, complained to Oscar Wilde: “It’s a conspiracy of silence against me. What ought I to do, Oscar?” Wilde advised: “Join it.”… Winston Churchill called Clement Attlee “a sheep in sheep’s clothing,” when he was not calling him “a modest little man with much to be modest about.” Then there was this famous exchange:

Lady Astor: Winston, if you were my husband, I should flavor your coffee with poison.

Churchill: Madam, if I were your husband, I should drink it.

RUN WHEN YOU HEAR ANY OF THE FOLLOWING IN A SENTENCE “…unity and harmony”

“…love, unity, and harmony”

“…humanity”

“…the human condition”

“…the human spirit”

Rules for aging....

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